Let’s Talk, Pussy.

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I was and still am a little hesitant about writing this post because I know I have family members who can easily access them but then when I think about it logically I see how vital it is for even them to hear this.

Sasha (who I refer to as Stace sometimes like I did on my first blog) and I, were walking back to mine on Tuesday when this man was walking towards me. I saw him do so, so I walked against that pattern and as he approached me, I see his hand reach out towards my vagina- his two fingers occupied with a cigarette and the rest stretched out to stroke what is not his; my vagina. Had I not seen his game coming, I would have been a victim of sexual harassment though I would still consider it as one due to the intention and actions of the man.

And then yesterday…

I’m getting on the bus from the bus station where there are many people like myself waiting too. I’m about to get on the bus and I feel a man touch my bum- my reflexes are sky high when it comes to being vulnerable in situations like these, so naturally I turned around just on time to see him move his hand away- basically catching the tail end of his speedy reflexes too. Humiliated and devastated at the time, I confronted him and he started jumping on the defence straight away about how he wasn’t ‘pushing me’… I stood there like WHAT?! Who said anything about pushing?! That was his guilt talking, thats what it was! But anyways then he started calling me all the names under the sun like your usual ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ and what not. Also I would like to add that there were MANY people around us witnessing this and yet stood silent.

There are SOO many things that we can talk about when it comes to stories like these but two things I would like to question is; why people feel like they can’t stand up for someone being assaulted right before their eyes and second, why do I feel ashamed about speaking about it?!?!

My mum’s reaction was a bit like mine; first she was angry then reality hit her and was conscious of how ‘weak’ a woman is in comparison to a coward man; in both instances I was ANGRY at first, and then VERY QUICKLY was I reminded of how weak I am in comparison to such an atrocity of a man.

I felt so hurt at the time, that I would even be sexualised like that. I felt like I was no longer I. I felt like a pair of breasts and a vagina. I was no longer a daughter or someone’s sister or wife. I was just a pair of boobs and a vagina. My identity had been assaulted. I felt in a way telling people or publishing it on my snapchat because I had to use the term ‘vagina’ and felt like it may come across in a way that I did not intend for it to, however, then I was reminded that it was HE that decided to sexualise MY vagina, it was HE who decided that what was MINE was HIS, and it was HE who objectified ME.

Lets talk about the witnesses, lets talk about them. Why do people feel like it is okay to walk past something that is clearly UNJUST? There were people around me in both instances who were talking amongst themselves as to what happened, but not for one second thought to offer some sort of support to a woman who clearly was upset about such violation. Why do people feel in such a way to stand up for something that is clearly UNJUST? Is it because of such a system that is in place where by if someone decides to get involved and should it escalate to something more like violence, that the chances are that they would end up being jailed, or is it the individualistic culture that we are a part of? Do people feel like others well being is not a concern that they need to have? Is compassion a myth now then?

This IS NOT a post to offer someone a counselling session or to break down the psychological journey of what occurs when one has the desire to violate and follows through- this is a post where I’m sharing what and how I felt in such events in my life and for it to raise a few questions in your head.

Should this article have made you feel uncomfortable, should the word ‘vagina’ make you feel uneasy, ask yourself what it is about that that makes you feel that way. How did something so beautiful and intricate become so horrible and degrading to some people?

This post isn’t to point fingers at anyone but just to bring awareness of what actually happens to women like myself and others. To help raise questions or awareness as to what you’re feeding into your daughter’s life by avoiding to speak about such things. Let’s make sure that we are addressing such behaviour when it happens right before our eyes, it can be scary, it can be threatening but the most rewarding thing you’ll do is exactly that; you’ll be selfless.

The likes of Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and many others would not have obtained such a crowd and audience in order to make history should they have let fear or doubt cripple their purpose. Don’t allow such fears to hold you back from being that person that sets off the crowd; be a revolutionary with boldness and allow others to find home in your courageousness.

This is actually going to be a series, so cheers to reading part one of ‘Let’s Talk, Pussy’.

Until next time Tulips!

Stay awake, stay alert, stay Bindipendent! x

 

2 thoughts on “Let’s Talk, Pussy.

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