I’m at this house party, sitting on the sofa, observing people because that’s what I do and it dawns on me that this post is an even better fit today than it was a week ago which is when I originally wanted to publish it.
So, let’s discuss the two personality types that I’ll be touching on briefly in today’s post; extroverts and introverts. This just describes the different dimensions of attitude within a person- so how they gain energy etc. Stereotypically introverts gain energy by being in their own company, or in the company of a few others. Generally like to think more, observe more, deeply interested in their own psyche. Extroverts on the other hand gain energy via being amongst a lot more people, they are a lot more outgoing etc. You get the basic idea right?
Like I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve had a bit of a personality crisis because of how much I neglected personal development, self-love and all that jazz due to a misunderstood idea of myself that my appearance was all that I had to offer.
I did a personality test* and it described me close to perfect. I’m an ‘INFJ’ it said and when reading that, I was intrigued at what this could mean, then I go on to read… I’m 97% introverted, 67% intuitive making me 33% observant, 93% emotionally led in decision making, and 100% turbulent as opposed to assertive. Now there’s me reading all this and having horrible feelings towards my personality type; I don’t want to be emotionally led, it’s not nice being extremely emotive. Oh dear, this must confirm that I’m definitely a sensitive person then. I also hate that I’m not assertive, being turbulent means I must be weak. All my dreams of being Gabrielle Union from ‘Miss Independent’ had been crushed. I’ll never get to be a boss lady.
You see, hearing things like ‘assertive’, and ‘extroverted’ are words that come with a positive ring to it. I don’t know what you guys think but my instant associations with those words were ‘personality goals’. I don’t know whether this association is correct for most people or is it solely just me so please do let me know what you guys think when hearing those words for yourselves- it’ll be so helpful to have some insight into what everyone else thinks about this.
Anyway, bringing it back to the house party, I was sitting on the sofa having a bit of a life changing moment, lol. It was then that I had finally had enough of laughing at people’s jokes when I do not find them funny. I am tired of responding to someone when I don’t give two poops about what they’re talking about. I am sick of watching them getting louder and louder as they shape themselves to be the centre of everything. It was then that I instantly made my way home. I bagged the realisation of my introversion self and my gladness of it and left. This isn’t directly aimed at the party or the people in it, but it was somewhat a depiction of what I face with everyone and everything in general- thought I would mention this just in case any of them read this, ha!
This post is to be continued as there is SOO much more to say but for now, the aim of the game is to encourage any of my readers to learn their personality types and also to get rid of certain stigmas behind the more ‘timid’ types of personalities like mine. I reverse every thought of stigmatism in the opposite direction and make it go where I want it to go.
When I feel like I don’t like being quiet, I remind myself that there is beauty in my quiet self, makes me a great listener. There is also beauty in my emotionally led self, it makes me aware of others’ feelings. There is beauty in my turbulent identity, it makes me a great learner. If there are any other INFJ personality types who are reading this; know that we consume only 1% of the population with our very rare and unique personality type (don’t know where they’ve made this statistic up from and how accurate this is BUT we are still cool regardless).
BIG FAT P.S. I’m aware that some may be thinking this is not directly related to South Asian-ness however, I would like to differ and tell you that it is. Growing up, I was told not to do certain things, down to my age, down to family pride, down to whatever Tom, Dick or Harry excuse. This created in me a pattern of thought that diverted everything that was true to me, to something the society deemed as acceptable and comfortable e.g. I would want to be an advocate for my mum in an unjust situation, but society (South Asian society) would tell me confrontation is to be avoided, retain family pride and shut up- ‘chup chap tay ne besi ja’ (shut up and sit down).
Interesting fact; one time I got told off for laughing “too” much, and that I shouldn’t laugh at everything. So in result, I would try my hardest not to laugh near that aunty (who told me that) because I was scared she would think that I’m a pushover for laughing at everyone’s jokes. Now, I laugh at everything and I own it. LOL then?! This is a poor excuse of what I explained above, but it’s just the simplicity of it all that I want to expose; the fact that I was pushed to be different as opposed to being celebrated. Going back to speaking of being introverted, I feel like in a South Asian setting, this is where they want their women to be so that it is easier to suppress rather than being an extrovert and intimidating them aunties. If you’re South Asian you know already that this deserves another few posts because its such a common issue- family conflicts are just something of a different planet.
Overall, in my journey of accepting my introverted self I genuinely believe that introverts are so dismissed by society because it’s not your typical rebellious, strong, outrageous kind of personality that is encouraged nowadays. However, there are perks to being an introvert; we make a fiercely loyal friend, we are intensely attentive, determined and passionate beings- when we discover that something is important we pursue it with deep conviction and so much more.
Great game changers like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa were INFJ personality types too so be encouraged; one does not have to be loud to roar.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading this, until next time!
Stay alert, stay awake, stay Bindipendent! x
* This is where I found out about my personality type: www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test